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“Name?”
“Mu’en Campbell.”
“Age?”
“Eighteen.”
“Gender?”
“…Do I really need to answer that?”
In the white hospital room, Mu’en looked at the mature woman in professional attire and sexy black stockings in front of him and couldn’t help but retort:
“Can’t you see for yourself?”
“Of course I can.”
The mature woman, who was busy writing, looked up, adjusted her gold-rimmed glasses, and gave Mu’en a blank stare before saying:
“But as a psychological assessor, my task is to evaluate your mental state through these questions, so I would appreciate your cooperation. Thank you.”
“…Male.”
“Very good, there seems to be no issue with your self-awareness, so…”
The mature woman pulled out a pair of men’s boxer shorts from a sealed bag and unfolded them in front of Mu’en:
“Looking at this, do you have any special thoughts, Mu’en?”
“…It’s disgusting.” Mu’en twitched his lips.
“Is that so?”
The woman continued to jot down notes: “The subject shows obvious aversion towards male items, possibly indicating a psychological tendency towards femininity…”
“Wait!”
Mu’en interrupted her, shocked:
“I just hate underwear worn by men. How does that relate to femininity?”
“Do most men hate men’s underwear?”
The woman’s glasses shone with an insightful glimmer as if she could see through everything: “Are you wearing women’s underwear? If so, it could be even more serious, perhaps…”
“I just hate other people’s used stuff! Anyone would feel disgusted by something someone else has worn, right?” Mu’en shouted angrily.
“Is that so? Sorry, it seems I lack experience in this area.”
The woman suddenly realized and then continued to take notes:
“However, the subject exhibits obvious manic traits—unsure if it’s due to…”
“It’s because of you! I’m this angry because of you, you jerk!”
“The subject displays significant aggression towards the assessor and makes insulting remarks, recommendation…” the woman continued to write.
“…”
So numb.
Is everyone studying psychology so twisted now?
Mu’en decided to remain silent from now on, not giving this woman a chance to scribble nonsense.
“The subject has fallen into prolonged silence, possibly indicating a significant psychological blow from the previous events, recommendation for electric shock therapy.”
“Enough already!”
…
…
“How did it go?”
Celicia asked the mature woman walking out of the room:
“He’s okay, right, Dean Heatherwei?”
“Of course he’s fine.”
Heatherwei glanced at the paper in her hand, where she had drawn little red flowers, crumpled it up, and tossed it into the nearby trash can:
“Although he has suffered significant injuries, he has clearly undergone professional treatment; now he’s energetic and fit, feeling like he could date seven girls at once without a problem.”
“I know you’re not talking about that,” Celicia said.
“Oh? Are you that worried about him? Is it because he’s your fiancé?” Seeing Celicia’s serious expression, Heatherwei teasingly continued.
“But I remember you used to dislike him quite a bit.”
“…”
“Alright, alright, no more jokes. It’s intimidating seeing you stare at me like that, my princess.”
Heatherwei removed her gold-rimmed glasses, revealing her charmingly mature face:
“His mental state should be fine, and there’s no sign of contamination from the Evil God.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
Heatherwei smiled:
“I spoke to him for just ten minutes, and he glanced at my thighs at least twenty times. Isn’t that an entirely normal mental response for an adult male?”
“…” Celicia’s expression turned slightly cold: “Dean Heatherwei’s method of assessing mental health is quite amusing.”
“Okay, okay, don’t get angry. At least I helped you find out that guy has a particular liking for black stockings, right?”
“I think the Dean might be mistaken.”
Celicia lowered her gaze:
“I’m worried about him simply out of my responsibility as student council president; there are no other factors involved.”
“Well, let’s just assume that’s what you think.”
“By the way, is Dean Heatherwei’s work going smoothly?” Celicia changed the topic.
“Of course it’s not.”
Mentioning work suddenly made Heatherwei’s head throb:
“There’s absolutely no progress over there.”
“Is it that difficult? I remember you were temporarily reassigned due to the Evil God too.”
Celicia raised an eyebrow and asked:
“So what’s the specific situation?”
“I can discuss part of it.”
“Part of it?”
“I was reassigned for two matters; one of them is top-level imperial secret, and everyone who knows has to sign a confidentiality agreement, so even you, Celicia, cannot be informed about it.”
“The Pink Bear told me about it.”
Celicia nodded: “What about the other matter?”
“The other matter…”
Heatherwei thought for a moment and said:
“Is something that isn’t a secret at the imperial high level, and it didn’t come into direct contact with the Evil God, so it’s fine to tell you.
The specific situation is that a small village by Beipole Lake was destroyed overnight.”
“Overnight?”
Celicia’s expression turned serious:
“What happened to the villagers?”
“Everyone disappeared.”
Heatherwei said solemnly:
“We searched the entire village and only found a recent grave with a headstone.”
“A head?”
Celicia frowned.
Hundreds of people vanished, yet only a head remained—it was all very strange.
“Exactly, a head, a female head, identified as a B-class adventurer registered in the Adventurer Association. However, she applied to cease activities for marriage reasons, and that village seemed to be her hometown. We later identified that the head showed signs of contamination from the Evil God.”
“Which one?”
“Who else, but the most active of the Evil Gods, the God of Love.”
“Again him?”
Celicia’s gaze darkened.
That God of Love had only recently appeared at the academy.
“Busy times for the God of Love.”
“Isn’t that right? Who knows why that Evil God is so diligent, making us ordinary people work ourselves to death.”
Heatherwei gritted her teeth; had she been at the academy during that God of Love’s invasion, she would have charged in personally to tear him apart to avenge her intense work the past few days.
“But… this situation shouldn’t make you so stressed, Dean Heatherwei.”
Celicia asked in confusion:
“Although this sounds a bit callous, in the series of major events caused by the Evil God, just destroying a village doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal at all.”
“Exactly, it’s like just another common Evil God contamination event. They wouldn’t send me to deal with it; after all, those Silent Ones nurtured by the empire aren’t just there for show.
But the problem is, this contamination… was too clean.”
At this point, there was a gravity in Heatherwei’s tone that even she hadn’t realized.
“The scene was unnaturally clean. Aside from the contamination within that head, we couldn’t find anything else. There were signs of a struggle, yet not a trace of magical energy could be detected, as if everything had been wiped away by an invisible hand.”
“No magic… was it a warrior?”
“Magician, warrior, even Divine Chosen—we’ve made many speculations, but we can’t find any traces or clues; they remain mere speculations.”
“What about investigating the identity of that head of the adventurer?”
“That’s too difficult. Adventurers are a free profession. However, investigations showed that her emotional ties with her two companions, who were active with her, were quite complicated and both of those adventurers also completely vanished.
So, we suspect that her two adventurer companions might also have perished in this incident, and their complicated emotions could have been the trigger that led to contamination by that God of Love.
But…”
Heatherwei sighed: “Knowing this doesn’t help at all; we’re still clueless about the nature of the incident.”
“No wonder…”
Celicia began to understand.
Compared to the past large-scale contamination events, which always brought endless ramifications, this peculiar incident—clearly related to the Evil God, yet leaving not a single trace—was far more unsettling.
It easily raised suspicions about whether this was yet another conspiracy of the Evil God.
Not to mention this was happening around Bairland.
No wonder those people up top were so panicked as to send Dean Heatherwei to investigate; her research focus was on Evil God contamination, and few could rival her in authority in that area across the empire.
“In fact, for this incident, we even expended considerable resources to invite that great astrologer from the Holy City to see if he could gain some insights through his grand prophecy,” Heatherwei sighed, recalling the expense they incurred to summon the great astrologer, which, although reimbursed by higher-ups, still made her feel the pinch.
If only she could pocket some of that.
“So, what was the result?” Celicia asked curiously.
“Beware of blondes.”
“Hmm?”
Celicia, usually aloof, couldn’t help but feel slightly shocked, thinking she misheard.
“You heard right. The great astrologer’s result… was to tell us to beware of blondes.”
Heatherwei buried her face in her hands:
“According to him, given the influence of that Evil God, even using that head as a medium, the images he saw were quite fuzzy. However, in those blurry images, he could distinguish a certain important figure in this matter, identifiable by their conspicuous blonde hair.
So he told us to beware of blondes.”
“Blonde… that sounds like a very broad category.”
“Exactly!”
Heatherwei was distraught:
“Is this blonde from malnutrition, or that shiny golden kind? Is it long hair or short hair? He needs to be more specific.”
“…”
“Even if it was detailed, I couldn’t do anything. How many blondes are there in Bairland? Has anyone ever counted? Just the characteristic of being blonde—how do I even investigate that?”
Heatherwei pointed indignantly at the room:
“Even your fiancé, Celicia, counts as a blonde, so why don’t we just interrogate him first? Maybe we can find some clues.”
“… Anyway, good luck with that.”
Celicia didn’t know what else to say and could only offer a bare consolation.
“Sigh, these days have been such a mess; who knows what’s gotten into those Evil Gods all of a sudden.”
Heatherwei painfully rubbed her temples.
In reality, compared to the incident at Beipole Lake’s fishing village, another issue that couldn’t be discussed had been even more troubling.
After all, the aftermath of the divine war was too unpredictable; now the entire high command of Bairland was actually growing tense.
Moreover… the academy had been jointly invaded by two Evil Gods.
Heatherwei wondered if those Evil Gods had just held some sort of gathering, compelling them to act out in groups.
“However, it’s remarkable that you could still find time to come to the academy in such a situation,” Celicia remarked.
“Coming back and forth, I’m sure it has delayed many matters.”
“Sigh, there’s nothing I can do; this is my favorite academy, and with such a big event happening, I had to come back to see it.”
Heatherwei gazed at the scenery outside that, despite everything that had happened, remained unchanged, and she couldn’t help but break into a smile.
“However, I definitely don’t plan to get involved in the academy’s affairs.”
At this point, there was a hint of schadenfreude in Heatherwei’s voice as if she could see the Pink Bear and various professors, who were all frazzled and overwhelmed from dealing with people constantly coming to inquire about the matter with the God of Love and the Silent Moon.
“It might not be too bad to temporarily shed the responsibilities of being dean, right?”
…
…
“Holy Sword? What Holy Sword?”
The Pink Bear slammed his paw on the desk, shouting at the man in silver knight armor in front of him:
“You need to provide proof when you speak; the Church of Life losing the Holy Sword has nothing to do with our St. Maria Academy!”
“But…”
The Holy Knight sent by the Church of Life gritted his teeth and said:
“According to our intelligence, that God of Love certainly used that Holy Sword when he manipulated Holy Maiden!”
“Intelligence?”
The Pink Bear’s round eyes widened exaggeratedly:
“Our St. Maria Academy has always operated under closed management; where did you get your information?”
“I…”
The Holy Knight’s expression stiffened.
“Could it be…”
The Pink Bear leaned in closer, his expression meaningful:
“Did you get swindled by some unscrupulous information broker?”
“…You!”
The Holy Knight was furious:
“Think carefully about the consequences; that’s the Holy Sword of the Church of Life!”
“Even the Church of Life should adhere to basic laws when acting.”
The Pink Bear shrugged and said:
“Today you say you lost the Holy Sword, tomorrow you say you lost the Holy Maiden; is it that one day, if your Pope loses his underwear, you’ll come looking for our St. Maria Academy?”
“You! Bastard! You dare to blaspheme the great Pope!”
“Don’t talk nonsense; when did I blaspheme him? Does your Pope not wear underwear?”
“You’re looking for death!”
The Holy Knight exploded in rage, abruptly drawing his sword and swinging down.
However, remaining somewhat rational, the sword didn’t strike the Pink Bear but instead cleaved the desk in half, intending to teach him a lesson.
But even though the desk was cut, the Pink Bear let out a wail:
“Ah, my desk!”
“What? What happened?”
Professor Gran, hearing the commotion, rushed into the room with a large group of teachers.
Observing the room quickly, Professor Gran was taken aback and hurried to the Pink Bear’s side to support him:
“Dean Pink Bear, are you alright? Did he attack you?”
“He didn’t attack me, but my desk.”
“Desk…”
Professor Gran seemed to only just notice the desk, now cut in two, and cried out in disbelief:
“Isn’t this your desk made from some thousand-year-old wood, worth as much as a Holy Sword? How did it end up like this?”
“He cut it; my desk…”
The Pink Bear, “devastated,” clutched half a desk and lamented, looking as if he wanted to die along with it.
“This is too much; this is truly too much!”
Professor Gran stood upright, looking sternly at the twitching-faced Holy Knight:
“What exactly did our Dean Pink Bear do to deserve such treatment? This desk is worth a fortune; it’s also Dean Pink Bear’s most cherished possession. Even if you are from the Church of Life, you must provide an explanation!”
“What worth a fortune? It’s just a broken desk…”
“Why can’t it be worth a fortune? Just because it’s a desk doesn’t mean it can’t be worth a fortune! Are you discriminating against the desk? I’ll tell you, it’s worth a fortune!”
Professor Gran puffed up his chest, his tone aggressive: “There are plenty of teachers here as witnesses; don’t think you can get away with this!”
“You!”
The knight’s face flushed red with anger, an overwhelming rage surging in his chest.
As a Holy Knight of the Church of Life, he had never been humiliated like this.
What worthy desk? You just want to shirk the issue of the Holy Sword loss!
“You wait; I’ll be back!”
Knowing he couldn’t do anything but suffer humiliation, the Holy Knight spat those words and turned to leave.
“Remember to bring compensation for the desk next time you come.”
Watching the Holy Knight’s retreating figure, Professor Gran happily whistled:
“Or if you bring another Holy Sword, that’s good too.”
The Holy Knight stumbled outside, quickly disappearing from the eyes of the professors.
“Dealing with such rigid church members needs to be your expertise,”
Professor Plon remarked while walking in, leaning on his new cane, sounding either relieved or annoyed.
“It’s not like that guy took the Holy Sword directly and didn’t give any certainties.”
Professor Gran said with a bitter face: “Otherwise, who wants to get involved with those from the Church of Life? It’s a headache.”
“Hmph, I’m the one who’s the most unlucky!”
The Pink Bear stretched out a hairy paw to light a cigar and sighed:
“I’m just an acting dean, but because of the academy, I’ve offended quite a few people these days. What will happen if they don’t let their pretty little sisters play with me anymore?”
“Who told the academy to be at the sharp tip of the spear these days?”
Professor Gran also let out a sigh.
Although that person had successfully solved the Evil God invasion incident, the academy had not had an easy time lately.
Due to the excessive attention attracted by the recent outburst of the Silent Moon, all parties were now keeping a close eye on the academy. Many individuals came to visit under the pretext of concern, but in reality, they were probing for information.
The Church of Life wasn’t so bad; they merely wanted their Holy Sword back.
Others, however, were genuinely trying to pry out some deeply hidden secrets from the academy.
“So, for this period, I’ll be depending on you, Dean Pink Bear.”
Professor Plon looked up and, unusually, flashed a “kind” smile.
“Huh?”
The Pink Bear flinched, his cigar dropping to the ground, looking dazed:
“Isn’t it over?”
“What are you talking about, Dean? There’s still an important meeting awaiting you.”
“What meeting?”
“An inquiry meeting regarding the academy’s safety initiated by Marquis Colbert and a throng of nobles.”
“Is this meeting really that important?”
“Absolutely. I believe Dean Pink Bear should be quite clear. A large portion of our academy’s funding comes from those nobles’ donations.
So if this meeting goes awry…”
Professor Plon’s gaze turned serious:
“Then the cigars and prints that the dean enjoys could…”
“…become unavailable?”
“No, it’ll be we who start investigating you for misappropriating public funds,” Professor Plon smirked:
“After all, every penny was extremely important for the academy back then.”
“…”
